Funny Funny Men

Funny Men Quotes

"Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans."
Conan O'Brien

"You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not."
Andy Rooney

"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being."
Oscar Wilde

"This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him."
Conan O'Brien

"A man is only as old as the woman he feels."
Groucho Marx

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
Jerry Seinfeld

"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business."
Dave Barry

"What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held.
What Men Want: Tickets for the World Series."
Dave Barry


"He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead."
Author Unknown

"If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?"
Steven Wright

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
George Carlin

"The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys."
Author Unknown